SWEET my blog is working again! Sorry for the absence of any updates for a long time. A few things have happened since my last update, as you may have guessed. First of all, the Sunday after my last blog, everyone got up and went to a local church. After that a few others and I checked out Albrook Mall, a pretty good size mall about half an hour from our base. When we got back, however, Tommy and I went up to our room and found that our laptops were both missing along with my iPod and camera. Apparently, this was the first robbery on base for a very long time. I was just thankful that my passport was still there--and I decided I would put it in the base safe after that, which is what my mom had wanted me to do right away.

So that happened, and it's part of the reason I haven't posted in so long (that and the fact that I can barely ever log on to blogspot down here). But it did leave me with a lot to think about. You see, I had gotten that laptop a year ago from my dad for college. It proved to be very useful, of course, but about a month or two into college, I was sitting in chapel. Suddenly a thought came to me. It was something to the effect of, "God wants you to go give your laptop to a homeless person." It was one of those deals where I wasn't sure if it was the voice of God or my own thoughts, and I still don't know. I brushed went through phases where I'd doubt it was God's voice and phases where I feared it might be. It actually got to be a stressful thing to think about; so there came a point where I was like, "Alright, God, I'd rather keep this laptop and use it just like my dad intended when he gave it to me, but you see the whole picture and if it'd be better for it to go to someone else, then make it obvious to me, bring me into the story, show me the person." That's sort of how I left it, I guess. Then I came down here, and it got stolen. And I still don't know if that thought was God or not.

It's not like the theft was an isolated event, either. They stole more than just my laptop. In fact, a week or two later, they stole three laptops, some cell phones and iPods from the girl's dorm. And I don't think it would take the hand of God to move some adventurous youth to steal some valuable things. I guess it's a tough call, and I don't plan on coming to any conclusions about it any time soon. Although it does cast an interesting perspective on what I was saying in my first blog about us not having to worry about those inner urges and thoughts, that it's better to just move ahead in good faith and let God guide our lives like an omnipotent God should be able to.

It seems that that question is one of those that has been with humanity all along. It's our attempt at isolating the divine, at figuring out just what sort of power is behind this universe. It's part of our persistent endeavor to try to connect with God. Many have come to conclusions about it, and they are definitely not always in agreement. So I'm not going to pretend to have it all figured out here. I'd say the jury is still out on many aspects of how God speaks, and maybe it's meant to be that way. After all, wouldn't it be exciting and satisfying to discuss this type of thing with your friends? So many times I ask, "Is that you, God?" in my own mind, but I never ask other people what they think. Maybe part of the problem for a lot of us is that we don't have solid enough communities of supportive friends around us, so talking about stuff like that would be awkward. I know I'm there too often. But I think if you can get past that, you find out that you really can't lose. If you honestly don't know if God is speaking to you or not, and you are always doing your best to live a life of love, then can you be wrong? Life, after all, would definitley be a burden if the point was just to get to the next spot. It seems that life isn't so much about where you go but about how you go. Are you living love? Are you being patient? Honest? Generous? Bold? Are you reaching out to the people around you? If so, then I'd bet that God will use your life in ways you never could've imagined.

Anyway, that's some of the stuff that has been on my mind this past month-and-a-half. This is a great spot to have questions like that. I've been processing all of the questions about my faith that have been building up in my mind over the years. At times it can be stressful, but it always good to engage the questions fully. So often I feel like people in the church frown on questions. It's almost like we're scared of them. The part that scares me is that the only people who should be scared of questions are people who are afraid their beliefs are false. Questions help us get to the core of things; they help us see things how they really are. So people who want the truth or honestly believe they have the truth should love questions. If people in the church are afraid of questions it tells me that they don't really think they have the truth. And that's no way to live, holding onto and preaching ideas you don't truly even believe in yourself. It's especially sad if the ideas are true, and all you needed were a few good questions to work through in order to find that out.

So, as I said, I think it's very healthy for me to be here to work out some of these things.

Why, after all, are we supposed to be Christians?

What does that even mean? Why are we supposed to "believe in Jesus?"

What does THAT even mean?

How can we take sixty-six works of literature from the past, ranging from historical records to poetry to personal letters, and say "This is the Word of God?"

What's the Word of God supposed to be, anyway?

If it is God's Word, then why did he (or she or it or whatever) use things like poetry?

What good is POETRY for getting the facts down?

That's what it's about, right? The facts?

Those are some of the things I'm thinking about and actually trying to get to the bottom of. Did you have answers to all of those questions? If not, then maybe you should do a DTS, too. :) But seriously...

Anyway, I'll try to give you a taste of this place. It's very laid-back, Latin-American style, which is great for someone who tends to run late to things. It's pretty small, and is located on a hill. There's jungle all around the mowed area of the base, and all around the country general. Near us there are many small houses made of brick and whatever else they could find. Most, I think, are squatters. There are big hills all over the place which makes for some beautiful landscapes, especially when the sun is setting. Panama City is about half an hour away, and it's pretty similar to Minneapolis. The Panama Canal is about fifteen minutes away at it's closest point. I saw some massive ships going through one of the locks. It's pretty impressive.

As far as the teaching structure, we have a different teacher every week with a different topic. So far we've had a WIDE variety of teaching styles and have covered stuff like Hearing the Voice of God, Relationships, Missions. One cool topic we did was Cities. And next week a lady's coming in to talk about Storytelling. The week after that we're actually traveling to different places in Panama while we learn about Spiritual Warfare. I'm pretty stoked about that. We get to go to one of the indigenous villages around here. Yes!

Each day we get breakfast, lunch and supper and it's usually quite tasty. So far we haven't had many crazy kinds of food. A lot of rice and chicken. Also throughout our day we have a few hours of lecture and work duties and sometimes intercession (which I'll tell you about later) and recreation and a free time whenever there's nothing else to do. It's a pretty easy pace compared to college, but we're kept busy overall. We have a new book to read every two, and we have to read the whole new testament by the time we're done with DTS. And on top of that me and another guy are memorizing the book of James. So far I've got the first two chapters down.

Well, there you have it. That's the gist of what I've been up to since the end of July. I love it overall and am very happy I'm here. I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life, I don't even have a major picked out. But I'm learning a lot about life and how I fit into it.

Looks like this got a bit long, so I commend you for making it the whole way.

Until I can next log on,

Take it easy.